Let it be Me
by jqstylecom
Summary: A much needed Hadji and Jessie fic.
1. Prologue

LET IT BE ME  
By; Andrea Crouse

Prologue 

Life has treated me pretty well. I'm 17 years old, I've traveled the world, I have 2 parents who love me, a mentor that is like a second dad to me, and 2 really great best friends. Plus one of them has a really sweet and smart dog! I go to a pretty good high school and all though I'm not overly popular, I do have quite a few close friends. I have never had to feel the pains of starvation or poverty, I live in a great house with some of the most amazing people ever put on this planet and I have my own car! I work at a great little humane shelter walking some of the nicest animals you could find, and get paid for it! What more could a girl ask for?

There's a good question! What more could I ask for? What more do I want? If my life is so great, why am I asking for more? What is it that I'm asking for? Why do I feel incomplete? Why do I feel like I'm suffering when I can't really see anything that's wrong in my life? Why am I asking myself these questions?

Life is a complicated thing. It never makes any sense. By the time it starts to people think you're nuts and you forget about it while senility starts to take over your mind. Any time you think you start to understand maybe just a glimpse of something, something whacks you in the face and throws your whole theory off course.

Every time I get in these weird moods I try to remind myself: "Life is one big experiment. You aren't meant to understand it. You can only theorize and hope for the best. Continue living your life and try not to worry so much." My mentor, friend and second father, Dr. Quest, spoke these words to me. If I didn't know he was a genius I would've called him a moron. It's a lot easier to say, "Try not to worry so much" than it is to actually do. Sometimes my mind carries me in so many directions, Idon't even understand what I'm thinking about. I guess that's some kind of sick joke your mind plays on a person. Whenever it decides to think correctly, it confuses and overwhelms you. The power of the brain is a strange thing… Maybe I'm crazy for trying to make sense of it?

Maybe I'm not even making any sense!

When you look at someone, what do you see? Skin, eyes, lips, mouth, nose, hair, arms, legs… Every component needed to make a human being, right? What about the soul within that being? Whenever I look at someone I don't just see skin, eyes, lips, nose… Behind those eyes there is a soul. Something the human mind will never truly be able to understand.

I've been driving myself insane trying to make sense of it. I came here by myself for the week to try to clear my head and forget about this insane soul eating at my mind.

I am completely alone, surrounded by nothingness; that soul is miles from me… We are states apart! So why am I still feeling this connection? The name keeps ringing in my head. Haunting me, begging me to come home to it. I swore not to speak that name once I walked out of that house. The second I got onto that plane I did my damnedest to try to keep the name from even flowing through my head. But, no… Nothing works. Not only is the name screaming throughout my head, but the face that belongs to that name and soul is haunting me everywhere I go. Whenever I look into the mirror, I should see myself staring back at me. But instead, my mind doesn't show me those 2 familiar green eyes. No, it shows me 2 gorgeous, inviting dark eyes staring back at me. The skin I see is not my own pale skin staring back at me, but skin such a cinnamon color that it makes my mouth water.

Of course another persons face isn't really staring back at me, so why must I see it as this? Why is this man haunting my thoughts, my dreams, my sight, and my words? Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night to hear myself saying that name ever so softly.

Is this normal? You find an accurate definition for normal and I'll tell you.  
Is this sane? Maybe not…  
Is this healthy? I've never felt so emotionally sick in my life.

I'm not the type of girl to fall in love. I'm not the type of girl to long for it. All I want is to be happy and free. Men can be quite a pain; I don't really feel like worrying about anyone else's emotional needs!

So, why is this soul haunting me? Why can't I see my own reflection when I look in a mirror? Why can't I sleep through the night?

…Is there something missing in my life?

There it is! I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave reviews. The more I know of people reading makes me want to continue to write. I love feedback!


	2. Chapter 1

**LET IT BE ME**  
By; Andrea Crouse

Chapter 01

Jessie stared out of the window she had been sitting by for the last 3 hours. Time seemed to pass so much slower than usual. So much that she was beginning to think that her clock was broken.

"Jesus…" Jessie sighed aloud when she looked up at the clock to see it click 2:17 AM.  
'Didn't that clock say 2:00 an hour ago?' she thought, 'Ugh, I'm going insane.'

She laid her head in her hands, thinking to herself that she needed help and if she didn't fall asleep soon she would go mad.

That was the last thing she remembered before the sound of a phone ringing stirred her out of her light sleep.

"Hello?" Jessie asked groggily, looking at the clock. '7:00 AM? Already?' she thought.  
"Jessie? Are you okay? You sound awful." A cheerful, yet concerned voice replied.  
"Thanks Jonny… I'm fine. What are you doing calling me at 7 in the morning? I said I wanted to get away and be left alone. This isn't exactly being left alone, is it?" Jessie replied, irritation ringing in her voice.  
"Jeez, Jess, someone's in a bad mood."  
"Sorry, Jonny… It's just that I haven't been able to sleep. I thought this trip would change that, but last night proved that I was wrong. I hate to admit it, but I think my dad was right. Maybe getting away was a bad idea."  
"No, Jess, it was a good idea. It's only been one night; tomorrow will be better. I'm sure."  
"Yeah. So, what are you calling about?" Jessie replied, changing the subject.  
"Well, Hadji and I are home alone and bored out of our minds. So, I came up with the idea of revamping the new fighting game you and I have been working on. Hadj said I should get your permission first before 'messing up all of your hard work'"  
The way he said his name so casually ripped through her life a knife.  
"Um… Sure, but only call me if it's a real emergency next time, okay?"  
"This was an emergency! If I hadn't of asked you would have beat the crap out of me when you got home."  
"Yeah, you're probably right."  
"Aren't I always?" she could practically hear him grinning through his words.  
"No. You're only right because people correct you. You on your own would be a mess no one would dare clean up."  
"Oh, thanks Jess… That just made my day." Jonny said sarcastically.  
"I'm joking, Jonny. You're kind of clever, is that better?"  
"Yes, maybe you should recognize it once in a while."  
"Well, I'm recognizing it now, aren't I?" she smiled.  
"Yes you are, and I appreciate it."  
"Good. Now can I get going? I have a lot of not thinking to do."  
"Yeah, I promise I won't call again unless it's extremely important."  
"Okay, thanks. Have fun with the game; just promise me you'll back it up before messing with it… You haven't exactly proven to have the best luck when you try to program anything. Or mess with anything in general, really."  
"I promise, and I have just fine luck, thank you."  
"You're welcome. I'll talk to you Friday, okay? Bye, Jonny."  
"Bye, Jess… Try to be happy, okay?"  
"Will do."

With that Jessie hung up the phone and walked over to the bed to lie down before getting in the shower.

She lay in bed staring at the ceiling. "How the hell am I going to get over this feeling when I can't get it off of my mind?" she thought aloud.

After about half an hour of looking at the ceiling, Jessie realized that sitting there thinking about him wasn't going to help her forget about him, so she got up and took a long shower. Afterwards deciding to take a jog through the park.

Later, at the park:

Jessie had been joking for a good hour or two. Her surroundings seemed to blur around her. She felt as if she was running through a confusing maze of streaks of lights and blurred faces.

She began to think about the events that had taken place over the last month of her life. Hadji had always been a big part of her life; he was one of her closest friends and one of the only people in the world that she felt had any idea of who she was. It's hard to find someone that understands you and he was definitely doing a great job of it.

Everything seemed to be getting better everyday. He and her got closer than they ever had. Spending long nights talking about life and dreams and everything imaginable… Occasionally sitting there silent. The uncomfortable feeling usually clouding silence was absent. Everything just felt so perfect.

Although they weren't dating, she knew she'd get the nerve to tell him about her feelings eventually. She just knew in her heart that everything would start to go in the direction she had been waiting for most of her life.

Then, all of a sudden…

Jessie's feet began to move faster, shoving her foot harder towards the ground with each step.

"Hi, My name is Claudia." She had greeted herself. In that very moment Jessie could tell that she would become a problem. The way she had looked at Hadji made blood boil in her veins.

"I'm Hadji." He spoke so politely… His obvious attraction dripped off of every word he spoke to her.

Her mind kept reliving the past events as her feet angrily responded with faster and faster steps. She couldn't remember where she was or what she was doing; only anger and memories were left in that moment of her life.

"Jessie, can we be left alone for a minute?" he had said just days before her leaving. Those words burned at her skin. They angered her more than any words she could ever remember being spoken before.

Her feet began to go faster and faster. She was now running so fast that her body couldn't keep up. Her left foot kicked the back of her right foot, causing her to fall flat on her face. Finally knocking her out of her daze. She looked up, realizing she was in the middle of the street.

"WATCH OUT!" She heard someone scream. She turned her head to the left to see the grill of a car coming right in her direction.

There's chapter 1. I hope you enjoyed it! Please take a minute to leave a review. :o)  
Chapter 2 will be up soon. I'm writing it now.


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